Tag Archives: Idiots

So someone titled this as “From Fattie to Hottie!”

14 Wednesday Nov 2012

Posted by in Q

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

, ,

 Yeah… more like from beautiful to “why does she have so much makeup on?”

Why do people see the key to beauty as being skinny and completely made-up, and anyone who doesn’t fit into that isn’t considered hot?

And then we have the flipside where skinny people then take the blame for causing self-esteem issues amongst slightly heavier girls and guys.

NO ONE asks for any of this.

Please, shut the hell up.

Sorry, it’s just been a long day…

 

10 best ways to rebel against parents

02 Sunday Sep 2012

Posted by in Gems

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

,

A guide depicting how to make your parents regret everything they ever did.

1. Do the opposite of everything your parents ever told you.

If they said “stand up straight” – walk around like a hunchback. If they said “drive safe” – drive like a lunatic. If they said “eat right” – get fat. Make them regret ever trying to give you advice. What do they know anyway? They’re old.

2. Swear.

All the time. Job interview? Swear. Church? Swear. Graduation? Swear. Your Myspace profile? Swear. Nothing says “I’m an adult” like using language you can only hear on Sopranos. Go bleep yourself, mom and dad!

3. Piercings!

Piercing your ears isn’t enough. You need to pierce your whole face. Remember how much you hated braces? Who wants straight teeth anyway? Metal in your mouth sucks. But metal all over your face is awesome!

4. Take up smoking.

A healthy nicotine addiction only costs $5,000 a year. $5,000 is well worth it to get back at your parents. Besides, when they hear you have lung cancer, they’ll regret grounding you forty years ago.

5. Get on Cops!

Nothing makes parents prouder than when they see their children on TV. But you’re not on TV because you’re good looking, a good actor or invented a cure for cancer. You’re on TV because you did something stupid and now the cops are chasing you through someone’s backyard. Mom, you raised me right.

6. Do drugs.

You won’t be able to keep a steady job, pay the bills, or keep any friends. But who needs that stuff anyway? Drugs are your real friend.

7. Get a tattoo.

A tattoo on the lower back is called a “Tramp Stamp.” It tells men at the bar, “I’ll do just about anything to my body and I’ll let you do anything too.” A tattoo on the arm (for women) says “I’m a lesbian and I don’t care who knows it.” And a tattoo across the boobs is.. well it’s just classy as fuck.

8. Drop Out of School.

If you stay in school, you may just get a degree and a decent job. But that might actually make your parents proud. Screw that! Drop out and be lucky to make minimum wage the rest of your life. Parents always say they want life better for their children. So the only way to combat that is by being less successful than your parents.

9. Get pregnant.

Nothing says “stop treating me like a child” like having unprotected sex and getting pregnant at 16. Who’s the daddy? Who knows. But your parents are guaranteed to think you’re a mature adult when you have a kid of your own. “But I’m not responsible enough to take care of a kid.” Then don’t. Let your parents or the government take care of it.

10. Run Away From Home.

What does an adult do when they don’t like the situation they’re in? They run away. It’s just the mature thing to do. Your parents will regret everything they ever did or said to you when you’re living in a crack-house having sex with strangers for grocery money.

Source